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Farewell My Teenage Years
20170911 • Monday, September 11, 2017 • 2 comments


Assalamualaikum & Hello,

I don't know where exactly to start. I don't know what i wanna write, but i want to. But first, today is 11 September, happy 20 dear self :) tho everyone who are older than me would say you're too young to realize but i think for the past 20 years i have learned a lot of things. Something sweet sometimes a little bitter but that is life after all. We learn, we fall, we hurt, we holding on, we heal, we will always heal but some thing may take a little time but i told you it's okay. We will heal no matter what. I don't want to tell anyone to be strong. I want everyone to keep holding on until there's come a time where we feel it is okay to say "i'm fine" and talk about the pain to someone else. I wish to be like that, to be able to speak frankly about my pain and what is hurting me. Sometimes the things we hide, aren't they the parts of us that matter most? People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.

"I don't think any of us can speak frankly about pain until we are no longer enduring it." - Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

I'm glad for everything that happening in my life for these past few months. All the good and bad. All those laugh and tears. I'll take them as a lesson. I really do learned a lot. Met a good friend, realized the bad one, accepting the ugly truth. There is some time that i feel like a shit but even in those state i still have some friend that at least want to hear my cries. The truth is there is so much more that i want, but it is also the truth that i have this much in my life...i am so grateful. I think i'm fine with this. I can't ask for more. I am truly blessed.

"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Well i spent my birthday this year far away from my family and dearest friend. Being here alone at 3am writing this, reading birthday wishes, i feel like want to cry. Gosh my heart. I may be 20 but i'm still a baby for my family and my friend. I do whine and cry A LOT in front of them. I just want to be strong but we all know sometime, something that we really want is the thing that we can't really do.

I want to be a better human being to another person, a better daughter to my parent, a better lil sister to my brothers and sisters, a better friend for my friends. Despite what everyone say or how people see it. I am going to be me. I want to be better. I just want to belong.

And lastly, many many thanks to those who made me feel like i was worth it :)



p/s : don't forget to follow my assignment instagram acc @clumpsandrolls & sorry for my bad english


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